Thursday, February 03, 2011

30 Days of Truth: Day 4

Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.

This one...I dunno.  I think the reason I'm still sitting on this at almost 11pm is that I just do not have an answer.

Have I never been wronged?  Heh.  If you've been around since '07, you know the answer to that.  There are other things too.  But I don't know that I find forgiveness is a necessary thing.  I mean, I could say "I need to forgive my ex-husband for the way he treated me," or "I need to forgive my ex-mother-in-law for some of the stuff she did" or "I need to forgive my mother for my whole childhood" or maybe "I need to forgive my father for _____"  but you know what?  I don't.

I have heard that if you forgive someone you remove their power over you.  Fuck that.  Forgiveness is mine to give or not.  No one has power over me anymore. 

I am good at carrying a grudge.  But I don't do it without a good reason.  I'm not refusing to forgive Erik for all but ignoring my 31st birthday, for instance.  I'm refusing to forgive my mother for focusing on herself instead of on me when I was a child.  (Not that her world should have revolved around me, but security in the little food, utilities, and a place to live would have been nice.)  Keeps me on my toes with my own kids, I'll tell you what.

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