Sunday, October 24, 2010

This is how my brain works...

One of the questions people always seem to ask you when you're pregnant is "What are you having?"  Now, I realize this means "Are you having a boy or a girl?", but it actually irritates me when people don't say what they really mean, and the question "What are you having?" is pretty stupid when taken at face value.  There's only one proper response:

"What are you having?"
"A baby."

For some reason, people get their panties in a wad about this.  Probably because they know you know what they meant, but you chose to respond to the actual question.  I feel about exchanges of this sort pretty much the way my husband feels when people claim to have collided with an inanimate object.

Since I have never once had an ultrasound to determine the baby's gender, I am placed even more outside the mainstream of modern pregnancy.  (Actually, that's the very tip o' the iceberg in regards to my strangeness in pregnancy, but I'll leave the rest of it out.)  So the conversation goes:

"What are you having?"
"A baby."
"I mean, are you having a boy or a girl?"
"Well, we'll find out when it comes out."
*blank stare*

I get grouchy during pregnancy, though, so the correct response to the "What are you having?" question got old fast.  I told Erik I was going to do this before I did...

"What are you having?"
"Well, we're pretty sure it's a rabid weasel."
*blank stare*

See, the end result is the same, but this exchange gets us there much more quickly.  (I realized last night that what I should have been saying all along was "A chupacabra!"  Next time...)

So I have been calling this baby a rabid weasel for so long that it became a term of endearment.  Of course, English does have a gender-neutral pronoun (it), but for some reason people get their panties really twisted when you refer to an unborn child as "it", and if I said "he" instead, even though that should also be recognized as meaning either sex, everyone would be convinced I am having a boy (which may or may  not be true).  So, Rabid Weasel it is.

And it did not occur to me at all that this might be a questionable way to refer to one's fetus, until I got a couple of confused responses to a Facebook status reading "Aww, Rabid Weasel has hiccups." 

Really, I say Rabid Weasel in the most loving way possible.  And while I will call the child by its name once it's here, I reserve the right to keep that answer when people ask me what I have in my sling.


Groundhog said...

I highly suggest a name with the initials R.W. :)

Sounds good too, very Texan. ARE DUBYA, git yer butt over here!

Dave said...

You gotta admit, "Little Chuby" (pronounced Chew-bee) has a ring to it if the newborn has any immediate cravings for goats blood. And, you'd certainly be able to sell t-shirts and such if you had your own little baby chubacabras.

Bob S. said...

There are so many possibilities to the "What are you having?"

a.) Really great sex, obviously.

b.) (if at a restaurant), The steak and lobster combo - Big Mac and Fries

c.) Another tax deduction

d.) I'm not sure, after the aliens abducted me, none of my doctors will tell anything.

e.) A really bad day, people keep asking me invasive personal questions.