Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Reason n+1 why I am not a liberal

So, one of my old high school friends posted this on her Facebook status this morning:

let me give my disclaimer of I'm sorry first..but this morning a huge-ass-diesel truck cut me off (one person riding in it) and then I was lucky enough to follow him to work..and as he attempted to park in my parking garage I watched in agony as he almost..almost clipped the truck next to him..he got out and had on a fancy tie..again..sorry..but why does he need to be driving that huge-ass-diesel truck??

Sigh.

Now, let me say that if she had confined her complaining to "He's driving like a douche!  What a fucktard!" I'd have been right there cheering it on.  But of course the comments (which she posted again to agree with) had to go right into dick size.

Because, of course, no one could need a pickup truck if they had a job where they wore a fancy tie, right?  There's no one in this world who, say, works in the city during the week and on their property on the weekend.  There's no one who has a wife and four kids and found that a pickup was the cheapest vehicle that would hold everybody.  There's no one who owns a construction company and who is as likely to be at a meeting with a potential client as on a work site (memo to my father-in-law: you are imaginary).

Nope, you only drive a pickup if you have a little dick.

Oh, and can I address this "one person riding in it" bit?  The person to whom that status belongs lives in Austin and works at the University of Texas.  Capital Metro Transit apparently has quite a few options for getting to UT, but that doesn't stop her from driving to work all by herself. 

What's that word for saying one thing and doing another?

8 comments:

Mike W. said...

Hmm, my brother owns a full-size truck. He uses it to haul crap and so he can bring both his dogs (+crates) on trips.

My brother in law sometimes wears a tie to work, yet drives a big truck because his weekend business is landscaping.

As for one person in it... My roommate and I live and work together. We drive into work separately. I'm sorry if not carpooling offends her tender sensibilities.

Charlene said...

I would not of thought of dick size when I saw the guy in the diesel dooly. I wrote an essay some time ago about the assumptions we make of the people in certain kinds of autos. My observation about dooly pickups is I always see tiny people driving them. A guy who is 5'5" weighing maybe 140 or a gal 5' weighing maybe 95. They climb the side of the truck to get into it and barely clear the dash looking over the steering wheel. I'm not sure what this projects about their inter selves.

People can drive whatever they want in America. If you can buy the gas and pay the bank, get what you like. My opinion of them is superfluous and it's bad taste to post this kind of thing on Facebook.

suz said...

@ Charlene: Big trucks make most of us look small!

I drive a totally nerdy middle-aged-mom-car. What a coincidence!

TBeck said...

Some animals are more equal than others. This while "carbon credits" concept is just re-warmed 16th century indulgences.

wv: judgeo

Ha! Is funny!

Anonymous said...

LMAO I'm female and drive an F-150, every day, and I take my son to school, and then me, myself, and I drive on the rest of the way to work. I wonder what size MY dick is?

Luckily it's still a free country, and I can drive whatever my sweet white ass wants to drive. It's nobody's business what's going on with my inner self. I mean, obviously, I'm f'd up.

thesouthtexaspistolero said...

They're multipurpose, unlike something like, say, a Geo Metro, which can only do one thing and pretty poorly at that, 58 highway miles per gallon be damned.

timmygirldoubledouble said...

Jeepers, all I saw were comments on his driving habits. Perhaps if he drove a smaller vehicle he'd be more likely to fit small parking spots.

Sabra said...

Let me help you out, then.

This is where she brings up the issue of one person in the vehicle: "one person riding in it"

This is where she insinuates that he doesn't need the truck: "he got out and had on a fancy tie"

This is where she outright questions him having the truck: "but why does he need to be driving that huge-ass-diesel truck??"

This is where I talk about how the commenters bringing the man's genitals into the conversation: "But of course the comments (which she posted again to agree with) had to go right into dick size."

(No, I didn't quote the entire thread. I often don't do that, though I do generally take a screencap. Not sure why I didn't this time.)