Thursday, September 02, 2010

Things that really make you wonder about a person...

Questioning a "once and you're disqualified" rule regarding family violence:

But both Elmer “Smiley” Williams and Ernest Espinoza, two of the commissioners on the three-member board tasked this summer with reviewing the recruiting and hiring process, brought up the rule even though no changes were recommended...

About the rule against admitting anyone with a history of family violence, Williams said: “This rule doesn't give any flexibility. We need to have some latitude.”

The chief, he said, should be able to decide whether someone deserves a second chance...

Espinoza, however, repeatedly brought up a real appeal to the commission by a man deemed unsuitable because he admitted to slapping his wife once to end an argument.
Hood said he didn't want anyone on the department who admitted to “slapping his wife around.”

“It was one slap,” Espinoza said. “It's not exactly slapping your wife around.”
Yeah.

I've never been involved in a violent relationship.  I have far more female family members than I'd like to admit to who have been, though.  Things have changed recently, but the rule that "if you leave a mark, you get arrested" is new.  I've seen relatives who found it impossible to get the police to take seriously legitimate claims of domestic violence.

Seems that Ernest Espinoza is a member of the old guard.  At best.

9 comments:

suz said...

Interesting dilemma. High standards vs. second chances. I wonder what percentage of people actually learn from their mistakes, well enough to maintain high standards later on. Probably not enough to justify second chances for everybody. In public safety, the risk is too great. Kind of refreshing that they actually got near the bones of the issue, though - so rare in public policy.

Charlene said...

I figure quys who were called "Smiley" from the third grade on, should drop the nick name after high school.

Domestic violence you know, wife beating, still goes on. On rare occasions husband beating happens, but not so much .as with wife beating. In Louisville the powers that be don't get all worried about a little wife slapping, you know to end an argument, by an officer of the l aw. Hell, our last police chief beat his wife regularly and she kept quiet until the kids got out of college and he retired. All that time the line officers kept it swept under the carpet. After the new chief came on job he no longer allowed the carpet sweeping. But, ya know, he was from out of town and had new fangled ideas!

In a three month period last winter two women were shot by their lovers. One had an EPO in force and he suicided by cop. The other was refused an EPO by a judge and her husband of 40 years shot her when she came to get stuff from the family home when she was told he was gone. He's in jail for life. A woman in the next county shot her husband and was put in jail for life.

the pistolero said...

High standards vs. second chances

I hope this doesn't come out the wrong way, but anyone who slaps a woman doesn't deserve a second chance.

suz said...

Pistolero, I do agree with you, but a recent post by Momma Fargo gave me a tiny frisson of hope for individual redemption.

http://mommafargo.blogspot.com/2010/08/nordic-tracks.html

The irrepressible optimist in me just can't help wishing...Then again, I know exactly what I've got when I wish in one hand and spit in the other.

Sabra said...

See, what makes me think the whole "What if it only happened once?" argument is silly is this: abuse tends to run much deeper than is immediately obvious. I don't think there are many (if any) men out there who will admit to having hit their girlfriend/wife once who have done it just once.

suz said...

That particular truth is why I have a handful of spit.

Strings said...

Allow me to put my horns on fer a sec.

They straight?

"Just once", given how some of the systems run in our country, could be any of a number of things. Most of which should NOT be a disqualifier. Tell you a lil' story...

Spoon and I were out for a walk. She was... stressed... and proceeded to have a bit of a breakdown. Something that almost anyone can have, at any time. However, she had hers while we were out in public...

Thankfully, I didn't try breaking her out of it with a slap... even though that might very well have jerked her back to reality. Reason I didn't was the number of police cruisers that were driving around the area (no idea why, but cops were out in force that night).

But let's say I HAD used that slap. Would've been the first (and to date, only) time I had done anything like that. Should that have DQd me from public service?

The argument for "flexibility in the system" is a good one. Putting an iron rule in place may help cover for sloppy background checks and evaluations, and cover for admin, but it doesn't REALLY serve the community...

Of course, any would-be public servant who has a record that includes such an act had better be VERY convincing in his justification...

Sabra said...

But let's say I HAD used that slap. Would've been the first (and to date, only) time I had done anything like that.

But, see, you DIDN'T. Because--at the very least--you had the ability to evaluate the situation and realize that it was neither the time nor place.

I have a very hard time believing that someone who would have done that, in your place, would have only done that, ever. See what I'm getting at?

Issues of domestic violence are thorny as hell to work through. On the one hand, you have women out there who get away with outright abuse because so few are willing to believe a man can be abused, and because men can't hit back...

And on the other you have women who don't report everything to the police either because a) they are so broken down they think they deserved the abuse or b) they have reason to believe the police won't take them seriously (and I'm betting they go together a LOT).

If a request for flexibility had come from the FD itself, then I might well have a different opinion of it. Such a thing might hint that they had reason to believe men were being unfairly stricken from the hiring process. But it didn't.

Mike W. said...

but the rule that "if you leave a mark, you get arrested" is new.

Yup, and especially as it applies to females assaulting males. It's gotten better on both sides though. 20+ years ago if men were abused they wouldn't dare report it. Now that's not always the case.

As for "it was just one slap." Bullshit. Someone who would hit you once is someone who would do it again. It doesn't cease to be domestic violence jus because it doesn't happen regularly.

my dad's 1st wife used to hit him. She is a basketcase, violent, and just not a nice person. Today she likely would have been arrested. Back then it would have done him more harm than good to bother reporting it.

Of course he should've known what he was getting into. She decked one of her bridesmaids for sitting on my dad's lap at the reception on their wedding day.