Sunday, April 18, 2010

Missing the point yet again

Early motherhood costs you.

The subhead to this article:  A study finds that waiting to have kids has its career and financial benefits 

My response?  Yeah, so?

I know my regular readers already get this, but apparently there is some confusion out there, so I will spell it out for anyone who's still trying to puzzle it out:

There are trade-offs for everything you do.

Seriously.  Wanna make a whole lot of money?  You've gotta work your ass off in whatever your chosen field is.  (You also have to be really good at it, which is generally achieved by, well, working your ass off.)  This generally means less time with your family.

Prefer more time with your family?  Work less, and make less money.

Which is right?  Shit if I know, I'm not you.

Look, I'm not knocking women who choose to have children later on.  They know the risk/benefit structure--older mothers have lesser fertility (this starts degrading in  your late 20s) and higher incidences of certain genetic anomalies such as Down Syndrome.  For some women, getting established in their career of choice and making damn sure they're with the right man is worth these risks.

And that's fine.  I absolutely respect that, just as I respect people who choose to not have children at all.  I remember sitting in the courthouse a couple of years ago catching up with a friend of mine who is a lawyer and her telling me that her mother was pressuring her to have a child already.  I told her not to do it until she wanted to do it, until there wasn't the tiniest bit of doubt in her mind that she was ready.  I'm pretty sure that's the way it's supposed to work.

I'm equally sure I made my decision to have children at a young age with full knowledge of the economic consequences.  And that my decision is worthy of respect.

Making less money really isn't the end of the world, y'all.  I don't think it's something we need to warn our daughters against.

But maybe that's just me.

1 comment:

the pistolero said...

Tim Wise: Imagine: Protest, Insurgency, and the Workings of White Privilege

If that whiny douchebag wrung his hands any harder he'd rub the damn skin off them. What a fucking waste of skin and oxygen.