Saturday, June 06, 2009

Rectal Foreign Bodies

This seems to be a favorite subject of the medical blogs I read.

I remember coming across a webpage a couple of years ago that was devoted to the subject, but I failed to bookmark it (or else it was lost in one of the crashes of my bookmarks Firefox used to be prone to).

So I had no way to prove the concrete impaction story I got from there. Until today (God bless you, StumbleUpon):

A 20-year-old man presented to the emergency room complaining of rectal pain. A well-nourished, well-developed man without signs of intoxication was admitted in no apparent distress. Digital examination of the rectum revealed a stony hard mass. Abdominal plain films showed a vertically oriented, low-lying radiopaque object in the rectum. A spherical radiolucency was noted in the upper pole of the mass. A blood alcohol level was negative. No other drug testing was performed.

Upon further questioning, the patient said that approximately 4 hrs earlier he and his boyfriend had been "fooling around." After stirring a batch of concrete mix, the patient laid on his back with his feet against the wall at a 45-degree angle while his boyfriend poured the mixture through a funnel into his rectum. After the concrete mass hardened, it became so painful that he sought medical care.

Under general anesthesia, the anus was dilated and two Foley catheters were inserted alongside the rectal mass to relieve suction. A concrete case of the rectum was delivered without incident. The rectal mucosa was intact with a hyperemic and edematous appearance.

The patient was kept overnight and discharged uneventfully the following morning. The attending physician recommended a psychiatric consultation, but the patient declined.

The linked story has photographs, just in case you've ever decided to know what a concrete cast of an asshole would look like.

The concrete story is the wildest, but there are some funny ones there, including one headlined "Artillery Shell Substantiated" (by, from the looks of it, KevinMD--probably the only blogger whose real name I regularly come across outside of the blogging world, mainly thanks to his occasional columns for USA Today).

Anyway, I am very easily amused at nearly midnight on a Saturday night. I was so happy to find that page again I just had to share it with anyone who might not have seen it yet.

I'm all for kinky sex, but nothing that might land me in the hospital. Thanks to the internet age, I now have a paranoia of becoming blog fodder (er, well, more so than usual).


Anonymous said...

Dude suffers major buttplug;

BeautifulWreck said...

good lord - that was really stupid of them to do. his boyfriend should have gone to the er with him.

Dave said...

That must have been a pretty liquidy mixture of cement to fit through the small opening of a funnel. Unless of course they make a funnel especially for such an application.

In the end, (no pun intended), the picture showed quite a solid (again, no pun intended) finished product. I wonder if the guy who poured the cement could handle a small patio on the back of my house.

Poured the regular way of course.