Wednesday, February 16, 2011

A Texas Alphabet

I have no idea what prompted this.  I'm just gonna go off the top of my head here, so not every letter will have something by it; that's what the comments section is for, after all.

A is for Arlington, home of the Cowboys.
B is for Blue Bell, the best ice cream in the country.  (Especially their coffee flavor.)
C is for College Station, where the men are men and the sheep are scared.
D is for Dell Computers, proving that even Austin-area hippies need to be plugged in.
E is for Exxon-Mobil, showing those Deepwater Horizon poseurs how it's done since 1989.
F is for the Frio River, where George Strait (allegedly) learned to swim.
G is for George, as in the King.
H is for HEB, the Platonic ideal of grocery stores.
I is for...
J is for Jack Ingram, who thank God has a career outside of HEB commercials.
K is for Killeen, home (more or less) of Ft. Hood.
L is for Luby's (and yeah, I know just what you're thinking about now.)
M is for MaSeCa, food base of the gods.
N is for NIOSA--pronounced NEYE-oh-sah, dammit.
O is for oil, the smell of money.
P is for Pantera, 'cause I wanna get laid tonight and that's what Erik just said to make it they're a really good metal band.
Q is for...
R is for Ray Wylie Hubbard, 'cause, well, Ray Wylie Hubbard, yo.
S is for Shiner, the only beer you need.
T is for Texas, the only place to be.  (Just, don't forget to go back home.)
U is for Uvalde, which is awful fun to say.  (There's not much of anything there, except apparently a middle-aged transsexual in a college dorm.)
V is for...
W is for Willie, who is famous for smoking weed.  Also, singing or something.
X is for...
Y is for...
Z is for Zavala County, named for Lorenzo de Zavala, though I always think of the street.

So, that leaves: I, Q, V, X, & Y.  Any input?


Anonymous said...


AlanDP said...

Q is for Quintana, population 38. Salute!

Or for Charlie Quintana, a punk drummer born in El Paso.

Take your pick.

Mattexian said...

I for Irving, the other home of the Cowboys and national HQ for the boy Scouts.

I'd say D should be for Dr Pepper, National Soft Drink of Texas!