Saturday, June 19, 2010

Baby Center Will Melt Your Brain

I was telling Erik just last night that stupidity does not prevent access to the internet (something my regular readers already know; I'm thinking particularly about this post, which left me wanting to bang my head against the wall).

There's a song (damned if I can remember the name of it) that contains the line "I've been around the world and found that only stupid people are breeding," and I am here to tell you that a) it's true and b) they're all on Baby Center.

Can I just say that people who aren't capable of basic math should not be allowed to reproduce?

IM A FRIST TIME MOM AND I NEED TO KNOW HOT TO TEL;L HOW MANEY MONTH IM CAN ANYBODY HELP ME WITH THAT

IM 18 WEEKS AND I HAVE NO WAY OF TELLIN HOW MANY MONTHS IM HOW DOSE THIS WORK HOW DO U COUNT THIS CAN U TELL ME PLEASE
Why are there people out there who cannot divide 18 by 4?  Granted, it doesn't come out perfectly, but still.  Drop the remainder, and you get months.  Do they just not know there are four weeks in a month?

And this is just the handiest example of the stupidity in their Q&A section; this type of question seems to run neck-in-neck with variants on CAN I BE PREGNANT I HAD SEX YESTERDAY AND TODAY MY BELLY IS REALLY HARD (because, apparently, a human fetus is something like one of those capsules you drop into water that turn into little shaped sponges in just a few minutes--suddenly I understand why condom packages come with pictorial directions) and IS IT TWINS?  MY BOYFRIENDS SECOND COUSIN'S GIRLFRIEND IS A TWIN SO I'M AT HIGHER RISK, RIGHT?

Ugh.  I know this is just a personal beef, but y'all, the next time you're wondering where the antis come from--their mamas are right here...

3 comments:

Mattexian said...

Forget math; reading that first excerpt, I've developed a twitch in my right eye and got Samuel L. Jackson screaming in my head, "English, MF, do you speak it?!?" I'll be the first to admit that my spelling and punctuation go to hell when speed-typing in chat, but have folks forgotten how to review before hitting "SEND" for something a little more important?

Steamship Trooper said...

Harvey Danger- "Flagpole Sitta"

William E Miller said...

They's 4.3 weeks in a month.

If that complicates the 'rithmetic too much, jest tattoo it over yore belly button.

- pupista! (barking mad on the right)