This does NOT bode well...

My most-indulgent class this term is Creative Writing: Topics. It's Creative Writing II, in theory. Prof. Tscalis told me, when I discussed it with him, that the talent pool should be a little tighter.

His reasoning, I suppose, is that it's never going to be a must take course, and surely only people who really love writing will take it. The version I had with him last semester had a large number of folks who needed a sophomore-level English course, and picked it above a lit class as an easy A--which, frankly, it is. Courses like this tend to grade based upon effort, not talent. In theory, this class should be bare of that.

Judging by the intros posted on Blackboard Vista, I am not so certain.

This is the assignment (the relevant parts):

Introduction of course and requirements. Your first assignment for this course is a 500-word introduction of yourself to the class. Use any creative techniques you would like to use, such as an imaginary dialogue between yourself and some fictional character, a third-person description of yourself, or any other technique you think interesting and original.

Please take note of the last sentence, which is the gist of the assignment. Now, what part of that would prompt something like this?

Hello everyone, my name is P*** G*** and I am senior at _____ and I am dually enrolled at SAC to take some online electives I needed to graduate. I am 22 years old and my major is in Communication with a focus in _____ and I will also graduate with a minor in ______.

Or this?

My name is T*** S***. I am 29 years old. I am originally from ____ and have lived there the majority of my life, but have also lived in ____ and _____. I’ve been in Texas for a little over two years, and live hear with my beautiful wife of almost two years and our 18 month old son. I am majoring in mechanical engineering and this is my second year in school. I hope to use this degree to work in the outdoor industry, designing mountain bikes, climbing gear, or something in that area. I’ll probably have about one more year at San Antonio College and then I will start at ______. That will probably take another two years.

Those aren't the only two who did essentially a straight introduction. I have my doubts as to whether they even bothered reading the assignment. When a course is an elective, why take it if you're not going to participate? Really, they could suck at writing autobiographical skits even moreso than I do, but I have my doubts that anything spectacular is gonna bust out of them fiction-wise.

Oh well, at least Krista, Kara, and James are there. And this woman:

A few months ago I moved into a much bigger place. I was scrambling to push my mattress through the door when I noticed a big, hangy balled squirrel staring at me. Something was just not right with him. Days passed and with each passing, I noticed Jeffery (the hangy scrotum squirrel) getting dangerously close to me and mumbling little squirrel anger at me.

One day Jeffery started barking a little squirrel bark at me, it scared me to death! I just happened to have a cotton ball in my hand. Naturally I threw the ball of cotton at him and that’s when my life changed.

*snip*

I am C***, and I think I am a zombie…