Friday, November 06, 2009

You call THAT a knife?

Yesterday morning, I had this conversation:
“Baby, I need a knife and a cutting board if you have one.”
“I don’t think I have a cutting board; let me check. No, I don’t have a cutting board.”
“Is this the only knife you have?”
“Ah, yes.”
“You own ten guns and this is the only knife you have? What the hell, do you shoot your steak into small pieces?”

The knife in question, y’all, was a paring knife. With a blade that was maybe 2.5” long. The person I had this conversation with was my sweetie.

Is this one of the differences between women and men? I can’t even count the number of sharp, pointy knives in my house. They’re some damn fine knives, too. I have a whole set of knives where the handle and the blade are made out of the same piece of steel. I have a good quality Japanese chef’s knife that I bought in Hawaii before our household goods arrived because I needed a knife to cut things. My boyfriend has a pickup truck, a gun club membership, nicer furniture than I ever thought of having…and a gun-shaped bottle of tequila…but not one decent knife.

That’s OK, though. I ratted him out to his aunt and his mama. He’s probably going to have enough knives to pin a deer hide to the wall in the living room—right by the work bench—before the weekend is out.

I also know what I’m getting him for Christmas.


the pistolero said...

Thank you for plodding through with that knife, honey. I'll have better ones the next time you're here. I love you. :-)

Walrilla said...

If'n ya got a pocket knife, ya don't need none of them others!


That being said, I am well stocked with kitchen knives. I have paring knives, boning knives, chef's knives in varying lengths, cleavers, and even a 14" butcher's knife. I am all about the cutting!

And I have a pocket knife on me no matter where I go!

Albatross said...

Count me as one man who thinks you can never have enough knives. I even seed them throughout my abode. Kitchen, pantry, medicine cabinet, garage -- they all have knives of varying sizes laying about.

Because you never know when you need to cut something, even if it is just an annoying piece of string in the seam of your trousers pocket.

TBeck said...

He needs a good knife. May I suggest...

That said, a properly prepared steak (waved over the flames) doesn't need much of a knife to cut.

TBeck said...

And for those tougher kitchen jobs:

BobG said...

I can't imagine only having one cooking knife; even when camping I have several with me.

Mattexian said...

Hell, I don't get outta bed without slipping a knife in my pocket-- of course, that pocketknife has an LED with it, so I can stumble to the potty without kicking the dresser or a dog. It's also good for the dogs want to go out at 0-dark-30.
Isn't there a law in Texas that says you've got to have at least one Bowie knife? (Then followed by the stupid law that says you can't carry it with you!)