Monday, August 27, 2007

A Totally Pointless Trip Down Memory Lane

The illustrious AD brings us yet another bit of blogging humor, courtesy of a link to Murphy: Musical Insubordination. Apparently the modern-day Marine Corps is getting a little pansy when it comes to calling cadence, if you can get unvolunteered for stuff like that. It's hilarious, though. In fact, I'm about to go read it again.

I was in JROTC a couple of years in high school (Rob was in all 4 years), and we got away with some pretty rough stuff.

Our Sarge taught us a couple of old favorites:

In the Army, the coffee's mighty fine
It looks like muddy water & tastes like turpentine

In the Army, the biscuits are mighty fine
One rolled off the table and killed a friend of mine

This was hilarious to me because when my mother was in the Army, she was a cook, and her skills never really improved. That woman could boil anything, though, I'll give her that. (For the record, she's said that when she was in basic, they used to march along to Shake Your Booty, it being the '70s & all.)

I only went to one or two football games with the corps. The one I remember most clearly was at Alamo Stadium. They asked if anyone was afraid of heights, and when I said I was, they seated me at the top of the bleachers so I wouldn't have to walk down the stairs. This prompted me to explain to the battalion commander (who, in true Texas fashion, came up to my chin except for her bangs, which came up to my eyes) the difference between being afraid of heights and afraid of stairs.


On the way back to the buses, we pissed off the football team by double-timing along to a chant of "We did it again, we did it again! We lost, we lost!"

During the bus ride home, LTC Aldrich apparently fell asleep at the front of the bus, and the battalion S-2, Luz Urbina, stood up in the back and started singing bawdy cadence songs, which unfortunately I didn't hear well back then, but I know one involved the relative merits of KY jelly versus Vaseline.

Sigh. I am getting dangerously close to my high school reunion.


Murphy said...

Ah, cadence.

It's not that we didn't ever call out the ones to make a sailor blush, it's just that well, certain female senior officers kinda frowned upon the more suggestive ones. Also, the more perverted and explicit ones are most likely to draw a classroom of kiddos on some sort of field trip (oopsie). Some of my favorites?

The S&M man.
Napalm sticks to little children.
I wish all the ladies...
The Ballad of John Wayne Bobbit.
From left to right to kill.

I should make a top 40 hits CD or something.

Mark said...

I didn't learn any really bad Cadences until I got out of the Army. Then I had a couple dozen sent to me by an uncle of mine who served in during korea and vietnam wars. I wish I could remember them now, but there was one call that I still remember, "Homer Jones" and NO I will not post it......